What Once Was Lost
by Kiss And Make Up
Summary: LaneDave AU oneshot. Set after Dave goes away to college. 'Even if he was only a couple of states away... I’d still never see him again.' Sometimes lost love can be found again.


**A/N: I was shocked that they didn't have Dave as a character choice in the Gilmore Girls section, when I've seen much less important characters in other sections. So I left a comment that they should add one, but then I decided that was slightly hypocritical of me if I'd never written anything with him in it.**

**So I wrote this. It's a short AU fic set around episode 4-4: "Chicken or Beef."**

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine.**

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I was devastated when he left. I tried my hardest not to be, it really wasn't fair. It's not like he did anything wrong. He went to college. He had to. We couldn't expect him to hang around here in this tiny little town just to be a part of our tiny little band that seemed to be going nowhere fast.

But did he really have to go all the way to California?

Not that that really matters. Even if he was only a couple of states away, instead of on the other side of the country, I'd still never see him again.

We had talked about the possibility of trying the long-distance thing during our last phone call—which was about three days after he left. He actually seemed to really want that. But I couldn't. I loved him, and I wanted to keep it that way. I was afraid that he would find some beautiful bleached-blonde with big boobs and forget all about plain-old me waiting here in Connecticut. If he did that while we were still technically dating, I would have to hate him, and I could never hate him. I broke it off so that he wouldn't have to feel guilty when the inevitable happened.

I missed him though. I really missed him. No other guy had ever done so much for me before, or made me feel so special. He was willing to stick with me through everything including all the secrecy and conspiring… unlike my first boyfriend Henry. I had thought he liked me, but he couldn't accept the deception as part of the baggage that I came with.

Eventually, I broke, and I told my mom the truth about Dave and me anyway. Even then, Dave willingly changed tactics along with me. He went home and read through the whole bible, all so that he could take me to one dance. He didn't even really want to go. But he knew that I did.

I was trying to get over him, or at least get over the fact that he was gone, but every time we had band practice it was thrown in my face. Then Brian reminded us that we needed to find a replacement guitarist. Replace Dave? I didn't know if I really wanted to do that. Having him gone was bad enough, but how could we replace him? We didn't have much choice though. Brian remained practical, speaking of things like replacements, while I moped and Zach got angry.

Zach did not think the same way I did about Dave's leaving. He had no problem blaming him, and cursing him as if going off to college was a terrible sin. I stuck up for him, even though I was hurting too and every word I spoke about him felt like a knife twisting in my heart.

The night after that band practice was the worst since the night we broke up. It was the first time since then that I felt so hurt emotionally that I actually felt physical pain too. After everyone was gone, I dragged myself up to my bedroom, closed myself in my closet, put a CD by The Cure in, curled up against my big pillow, and cried myself to sleep.

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I woke up a little later and crawled out of the closet, feeling a little better. I was always told growing up that crying didn't solve anything, but what do parents know? It actually helps a lot.

I changed my clothes, feeling like it was another day even though it had really only been a few hours. I climbed down the stairs and opened the door, coming face to face with Dave Rygalski himself.

At first I thought I was hallucinating. Surely he was some sort of visual manifestation of my emotional struggle, right? But then he spoke.

"Lane, I need to talk to you."

Unable to speak, I just nodded my head and followed him outside. He pulled me to the gazebo. Although it was right in the center of town and anybody could see us, it had four walls, and so it felt somewhat private.

Finally, my vocal skills returned: "What are you doing here? I mean, why aren't you in California?"

"I flew in for the weekend. I really needed to see you, Lane."

"But… we broke up."

"I know. That's what I want to talk to you about. I've been miserable Lane. I need you. Being away from you was hard, but knowing you were here and thinking about you made things easier. When you broke up with me… I just… Won't you reconsider? I really think we can do this Lane. I know long-distance relationships are hard, but I think we can make it if you would just give us a chance."

"Wait… you mean, you haven't found someone?"

"Found who?" Dave looked genuinely confused.

"Someone else."

"You mean, like a girlfriend? No way!"

"But you're in California! _California_, Dave. Your school must be filled with beautiful, thin, tan, blonde women. You haven't dated any of them?"

"I'm not interested in any of them Lane. I only want you. Lane… I love you."

My eyes grew wide and my jaw must have dropped ten feet. Well, at least, that's what it felt like. I had loved Dave for so long, and I knew he liked me… but I never dreamed he felt as much as I did.

Apparently he took my silence as a bad sign, because he started to get up and leave, but I pulled him back down and looked into his eyes.

"I love you too."

And then he kissed me—right in the gazebo where anyone could see, including my mother. This time there would be no hiding. We may have to deal with miles of separation, but at least everything was out in the open.

Things would be hard, I knew they would. We still wouldn't get to see each other very often.

But we had weekends, and vacations, and e-mails and phone calls…

And we had right now.

And that would have to be enough.


End file.
